Idiots

Jiraiya never really did know when to shut up, Orochimaru reflected. He leaned against one of the posts in their training area, observing Tsunade as she pounded the white-haired boy into the ground. As usual, his female teammate’s moves were fluid and strong, graceful. She always had excelled at taijutsu, even as a young child – unlike Jiraiya, the drop-out, or himself, who favoured the careful use of various techniques over raw power. He somehow doubted that either of them would ever reach his level – Tsunade had some potential, but Jiraiya was all talk. He had nothing to back it up with, and most likely never would. Although . . . Jiraiya had been improving, as of late. Orochimaru frowned, then shook his head dismissively. Jiraiya was a bumbling fool – a fool with some power, yes, but no idea how to develop it or how to use it. Every method Sarutobi-sensei tried to use to drum some sense into his head never made it past the thick mane of hair that stood in the way. There would never be a technique that Jiraiya used that he, Orochimaru, could not, and that was enough to satisfy him. Nodding to himself, Orochimaru turned his back on his team and began to head to the village. “Oi, Orochimaru!” He stopped and half-turned, frowning back at his teammates. “What?” Jiraiya grinned at him, one eye already turning purple from Tsunade’s fists. The blonde girl was waving to one of her friends, ignoring both of them as she ran down the hill, her indignation at the boy forgotten already. “You ready to fight?” Jiraiya said, catching Orochimaru’s attention again. “I’ll beat you to a pulp!” Orochimaru tilted his head to one side, considering his rather battered teammate. Jiraiya was in no state to be of any challenge to him, true, but he supposed he could humour the other boy for a while. It might even be entertaining. But . . . Jiraiya was never in any state to challenge him. And if it wasn’t worth his time. . . . “I think . . . not,” Orochimaru said, and walked away. ~ Naruto never really did know when to shut up, Sasuke reflected. He shifted his pack on his shoulders, trying to ease the weight a little without giving away what he was doing. They were on another of those stupid missions that only idiots hired ninja to do – and only weak ninja were put onto. Scowling, he burned a hole in a tree to his side, ostentatiously ignoring Sakura’s outraged cries and Naruto whining, “Sakura-chaaaan. . . .” as he silently promised himself, once again, to pass the chuunin exam as soon as possible. Try as he might, however, the sounds of Sakura scolding Naruto were just too piercingly loud to ignore. Rolling his eyes, Sasuke trudged onwards, trusting them to follow him. Just why Kakashi-sensei couldn’t have come with them, he had no idea – but then maybe that was a good thing, seeing as he never cared when Sakura yelled at Naruto. He probably never even noticed that particularly grating whine Naruto’s voice always got after two minutes and thirty-four seconds (he’d timed it) of Sakura letting herself pretend to be his mother. Sometimes, Sasuke wondered how much Naruto really did care for Sakura, to allow her to treat him like that. Naruto could so easily kick her arse, after all – but she was his precious Sakura-chan, and he was Naruto, so of course he would never do that. Idiot. There were days when he could feel Naruto and Sakura like a weight around his neck, keeping him from reaching his goal; days when all he wanted was for them to disappear. But then . . . there was also Sakura forcing her (admittedly quite good) cooking on him when she thought he hadn’t been eating enough, and Naruto popping out of nowhere to challenge him at all hours of the day. . . . No. They were a hindrance. “Sasuke-kun! Wait a minute!” Sasuke paused, half-turning. Apparently Sakura was finished with her Naruto-lecture, and had decided that he would be the next target for her affection. He almost snorted, but caught himself. She thought neither of them knew what it was when she scolded Naruto for any one of a number of things – she was so used to snubbing him, that it never occurred to her to act any other way when she actually started to care for the loudmouth. “Oi, Sasuke-bastard,” Naruto grumbled from his left. Sasuke managed to cover his start – barely – at having the other boy sneak up on him. “How come she’s nice to you?” “I’m not a loudmouthed drop-out,” Sasuke told him, knowing it would annoy the blond boy. “Jerk!” Naruto yelled, shoving his face right into Sasuke’s the way he did when he was peeved and wanted you to know it. As if you could ignore it. “You wanna fight?” “Naruto!” Sakura cried, but Sasuke was already glowering back. “I’ll pound you into the ground,” he told Naruto. “You sure you’re up for it, scaredy-cat?” Distantly, Sasuke heard Sakura walking off with a muffled cry of “Boys!”, but all his attention was on Naruto. Naruto, who was puffing up like an angry cat, Naruto, who was strong enough to challenge him and help him get stronger. Naruto, who was in no condition to fight with Sasuke, seeing as his eye was already turning purple from the force of Sakura’s fist. He wouldn’t even defend himself against her, which was patently stupid. But. . . . Fighting with Naruto was never a waste of time. Sasuke smirked, and dropped his pack to the ground. “Are you ready, idiot?”

Back to Pharmakon