On my own power

It is a bright, sunny day when Uchiha Sasuke returns to Konoha. The guards see him coming from a long way off and alert the Hokage. By the time he reaches the gates, the Hokage and half of Konoha’s jounin are there, waiting as Sasuke staggers and rights himself. His left arm hangs useless from his side, blood dripping from the fingertips. He lifts his head to stare at the assembled shinobi, and the look on his face is terrifyingly sane. “He’s dead,” Sasuke says, and passes out. ~ They take him to the hospital. The Hokage argues with those who want him executed immediately, pointing out that he may have valuable information and – to all intents and purposes – turned himself in. They are not convinced, but Tsunade is not about to let any information on Orochimaru slide. Sasuke goes into cardiac arrest three times in the first day. He is not allowed any visitors. ~ Naruto’s genin team know their jounin sensei is distracted. They know this, because he is often to be found staring off into the distance at something only he can see, the look on his face indecipherable. They know this, because his usual exuberance is missing when he runs them ragged during training and missions. Privately, they agree that all that ramen he eats has finally caught up to him. ~ The curse marks begin to recede on the third day after Sasuke is brought to the hospital. His screams echo down the corridor, and there are two ANBU teams inside the room before the nurses can blink. It comes as somewhat of a surprise to find him still unconscious, arching from the bed in pain even as the vivid black marks drag along his flesh, as though they have claws sunk deep into the skin that don’t want to let go. The nurses administer strong doses of both sedatives and painkillers – as strong as they can get away with – but Sasuke’s screams don’t stop. When the Hokage hears about it, she sends for Anko. “He’s forcing it back through sheer stubbornness, as near as I can tell,” Anko tells her, something like awe on her face. “It . . . can’t be easy. But it does tell us one thing – he doesn’t follow Orochimaru any more, because what he’s doing is the same as pushing Orochimaru out.” ~ Sakura tries to bring flowers to put at Sasuke’s bedside, and Ino regretfully tells her no. Since Ino is in her ANBU outfit (mask and all) Sakura supposes she’s not meant to know who it is, but there’s nobody else who has that much white-blond hair around. Thinking of blond hair turns her thoughts to Naruto, and she decides to visit him instead. ~ Eventually, Sakura finds Naruto at the logs where Kakashi set them their first task as genin. He’s punching and kicking them with such vicious energy that she carefully slides back into the shadows, leaving him to his anger. ~ Sasuke wakes up four days later, and the curse seal is once again merely three black dots on his neck. ~ Most of Konoha turns up for his trial. Sasuke tells them everything, face expressionless. He gives out every piece of information he has gathered by years at Orochimaru’s side, from the whereabouts of S-class missing nin to how many bags of flour Orochimaru owns. They ask him why he came back, and he tells them that Itachi is dead. “I killed him on my own power,” Sasuke says, and the implication is that he did not need Orochimaru for it. It causes a stir, but the elders seem to accept this. Then the Hokage steps forward, and asks him again why he came back. Sasuke looks up at her from his seat in the middle of the room, and speaks for her ears only. ~ Naruto is one of the few who does not show up for the trial. No one can quite summon up the courage to ask him why. ~ Eventually, Sasuke’s trial ends. The Hokage, surprisingly, argues fiercely for his case, pointing out that Sasuke has never killed another Konoha shinobi – and she is careful, oh-so-careful, to only imply that he’s never fought or hurt one of their own – and really, his only crime was to have left to join Orochimaru. And yet he has returned, bearing invaluable information – he has returned, having never seriously harmed one of their own – and so could it not be, that in all that he has done, he has worked towards Konoha’s goals? No one buys it. No one buys it, but then the Hokage sighs, and says, “We all know the real reason he left,” and pointedly does not mention Itachi. ~ After the trial, Sakura is allowed ten minutes alone with Sasuke. She plans many things to say – some angry, some hurt, some neither – but when she is faced with the reality, they all fly out of her head. They stare at each other in silence for a moment, and then Sasuke asks if she is well. It’s almost a relief, to engage in small talk for those long ten minutes, and when she leaves Sakura thinks that Sasuke talks much more than he used to. ~ Naruto’s mood becomes bleaker and bleaker as the days pass, until even Iruka starts giving him a wide bay. The Hokage summons him to her office, and asks him pointedly if he wants to see Sasuke. Naruto grips the arms of his chair hard enough to dent them, and says no. ~ Sasuke is released a few days later. He is not allowed to leave the village’s boundary for a year, and will be closely watched all his life (whether by official command or not), but he is otherwise unpunished. Sakura is sad, but not surprised, to see him avoiding all of Naruto’s usual haunts. She is equally sad to see Naruto doing the same. ~ Eventually, Naruto’s genin team decide that it can’t be the ramen which is causing their sensei’s problems. Since asking Naruto what’s wrong would be about as sensible as taunting an angry bear, they decide to ask Sakura instead. Naruto-sensei and Sakura-san are such good friends, they reason, she should definitely know the answer. Sakura gives them a strange look, and asks when and where their next practise is going to be. ~ It’s a bright, sunny day when Uchiha Sasuke sees Naruto again for the first time in eight years. They stand frozen, staring at each other in the middle of the training area Naruto has been working his students in. His genin team huddle together, a little scared at the sudden appearance of a former S-class missing nin and the way he and their sensei are looking at each other. A hand settles on the shoulders of the outer two of the huddle of genin, and their terrified faces shoot up to see Sakura standing above them. She tugs them back, gently, to stand in the shadow of the trees away from Naruto and Sasuke. Surprisingly – or perhaps not – Naruto is the one who breaks the silence. “Uchiha,” he says flatly, straightening from the half-crouch he had held in his shock. Sasuke’s mouth tightens a little, but otherwise his expression does not change. “Uzumaki,” he responds, in exactly the same tone. Naruto scowls, and turns his head away. “What are you doing here?” he asks, in clipped tones. “Sakura told me to meet her here,” Sasuke says, and an ache starts in Sakura’s stomach because he sounds so much like she remembers, but Naruto— —is clenching his jaw and flexing his fist, staring at the ground. “Did she,” the blond man says softly, and Sakura hopes that isn’t the barest hint of betrayal she hears in his voice. Then Naruto’s head whips up, and he glowers at Sasuke. “Since she obviously didn’t come here just to meet you, you can fuck off,” he says, and turns his back. Sakura feels something break in her chest, and she knows – knows – that if Naruto walks away, from here on in they will no longer be friends, and what might have been salvageable between Sasuke and Naruto will be gone forever, and it hurts so much to know that she can’t stop it and she failed them— “You were right,” Sasuke says, and time stands still. “What did you say?” Naruto asks, barely a breath of sound, and all the anger and hurt is suddenly gone from his voice. When Sasuke doesn’t respond, he half-turns, to find that this time it’s the other man who won’t meet his eyes. Sasuke stares off into the distance, his jaw clenched painfully tight. “What did you say?” Naruto repeats, and his voice is strained, pulled tight with so many emotions it’s impossible to read. A ghost of a laugh finds its way out of his mouth, and he adds, “Come on, it’s not every day you admit I was right about something.” When Sasuke still does not answer, Naruto twists to face him fully. “Sasuke—” “You were right,” Sasuke interrupts, abruptly meeting Naruto’s eyes, and Sakura wonders if it was Naruto saying his name that prompted him to answer. “When – when you said . . . I . . . Itachi. . . .” For a moment, he seems lost for words. Then, firmly, “I realised you were right.” And suddenly, Sakura remembers what he’s talking about. “If that bastard gives you the power to kill Itachi, do you think it’ll be you who gets revenge? You don’t need him to be strong enough, jackass! You’re giving your revenge to someone else!” Sasuke’s voice rings in Sakura’s brain, repeating words from the trial. “I killed him on my own power.” And Sakura remembers that she told Naruto he was the only one who stood a chance of bringing Sasuke back, and is suddenly, dizzily happy that she was right. “Oh,” Naruto says, and for the briefest of moments looks faint – which is ridiculous, Sakura tells herself, because this is Naruto and Naruto does not look faint. But then, she’d never thought Naruto could look hurt, either, and she suddenly realises that Naruto must still trust Sasuke to have so easily shown him that pain. A laughing, joking Naruto would have been far, far worse. They stand facing one another again, as silent as before but – Sakura thinks – without some of the angered hurt that was there before. This time Sasuke is the first to look away, and his gaze lands on her and the genin. Looking back at his one-time teammate, Sasuke’s lips twitch. “So,” he says. “A genin team. I guess this means you’re a jounin, now.” For a brief instant, Naruto looks startled. Then . . . his lips twitch, too, and he replies, “Yeah, for a while now. I guess you’re still officially a genin.” Sakura holds her breath, as the faintest of smiles appears on both their faces. “I can still kick your arse,” Sasuke tells him. “Wanna bet, Sasuke-bastard?” Naruto says challengingly, and steps forward. Sasuke’s hand fall out of his pockets, and he does the same. “You’ll lose, idiot,” Sasuke responds, and Naruto continues it, and with each exchanged insult they move a step closer to each other until they’re almost nose-to-nose, and for a moment Sakura thinks she’s twelve again and watching them argue as they wait for Kakashi-sensei to turn up. Then abruptly, Naruto’s face turns serious, and Sakura is jolted back to reality. A hint of – something – shows in Sasuke’s face, but he waits for his – friend? – to speak, silently. “Sasuke. . . .” Naruto says, and sucks in a deep breath. “What?” Sasuke says warily, and that’s when Naruto head-butts him. Sasuke staggers back with a hand over his nose, reeling, and Naruto jumps up and grabs fistfuls of his shirt, planting his feet on Sasuke’s chest and hanging on as Sasuke staggers and tries to stay upright. The blond man shoves his face right into his former teammate’s, knees around his ears, and yells, “You stupid, selfish prick! Have you got any idea how hard I tried to find you? I searched for fucking months, you arsehole! You made me worry so much! Stupid Sasuke, always thinking he’s too good for the rest of us, has to go find other bastards to make his day better—” “Get OFF me, dumbass!” Sasuke finally yells, taking his hand from his face and punching Naruto. “Ha! You wanna fight? Get ready for this, bastard! Kage bunshin no jutsu!” One of Naruto’s genin team tugs on Sakura’s sleeve, and she looks down at them, startled that she almost forgot they were there. The team grin up at her, one saying brightly, “I guess Naruto-sensei’s back to his old self, ne?” Sakura fells an irrepressible grin spreading across her face, as she looks back up to see Sasuke holding Naruto on the ground in an arm lock, the blond furiously kicking his legs and yelling about how he can so too beat Sasuke, so there. “More than you know,” Sakura says, and laughs.

Back to Pharmakon